The Shape of Water is a much-anticipated film coming out in 2018. Image: Fox Searchlight

Valentine’s Day has recently passed. I’m sure that you are all romanced-out. But gentlemen, if you are single and intend to be successful at relationships (see what I did there?), then you’re going to need to suck it up and take your lady to a movie that she’ll enjoy.

Otherwise known as the dreaded “chick flick”.

Most of these movies fall into one of two categories: Romantic comedies (a.k.a. rom-coms) or straight up dramatic love stories.

(Side note: If you have a lady whose idea of an enjoyable night out at the movies includes viewing something like Black Panther or Deadpool 2, marry her immediately. Period.)

This is where your fearless editor-and hardened veteran of the chick flick date, including a viewing of the most insufferable movie of all-time, Riding in Cars with Boys (I’m doing you gentlemen a favor by NOT providing a link to this, trust me), is here to help. I will save you the research time and provide you now with several options that will not only make your significant other enjoy herself, but won’t make you want to poke your eyes out with a spork.

Here we go…

The Shape of Water: This one falls under the category of straight up romance. Only this has a bit of a twist as it’s a girl falls in love with a monster plot line. If you’ve seen the trailers-or any of the clips on the awards shows, you already know this. On the bad side, it’s a straight-up romance and the plot line is a tad on the slow side to develop. On the good side, there is a legitimate monster in the movie AND you could say you have seen at least one of the Best Picture nominations for Oscar this year.

If you are a real movie fan to begin with, Guillermo del Toro’s direction is phenomenal.

Mama Mia! Here We Go Again: If you not an ABBA fan then this won’t make you poke your eyes out with a spork necessarily, but could make you want to puncture your eardrums. I wouldn’t recommend it though. There are worse artists to have to sit through.

This is a sequel based on the original movie Mama Mia! starring Meryl Streep, Pierce Brosnan, Colin Firth and more. That film was an adaptation of the Broadway jukebox musical version.

For you gentlemen who are unfamiliar with the term jukebox musical, it is a musical theatre piece that takes the greatest hits of one artist – in this case ABBA – and loosely writes a plot around the songs. I do mean loosely. Jersey Boys (The Four Seasons) and Movin’ Out (Billy Joel) are other examples.

There are some good reasons why this sequel can still be tolerable. It is -at it’s heart – a romantic comedy that your significant other is likely to enjoy; even if they aren’t an ABBA fan either. Meryl Streep is not returning. Her place will be taken by Cher who will be playing Streep’s former character’s mother (a.k.a. grandma). In the acting world that’s a downgrade. In the singing world, it’s a decided upgrade. Streep is a brilliant actress. But as exhibited in the first movie, she can’t hold a tune in a bucket. It’s painful.

Finally, if they let former James Bond Brosnan sing again – as they did in the first – it will undoubtedly be hilariously comical. He can’t sing either. But is so bad, while being so serious about it, the unintentional comedy is off-the-charts.

It opens in July.

Crazy Rich Asians: This is an interesting rom-com that is based on Kevin Kwan’s novel of the same name taking a hilarious look into the world of contemporary Singaporian excess. The plot centers around Rachel Chu, played by “Fresh Off the Boat” actress Constance Wu, who is American and is happy to accompany her boyfriend, Nick Young (Henry Golding) to Singapore to attend a wedding and the meet the family. The culture shock causes hilarity to ensue.

I’ll be honest with you on this one fellas. You’re taking a bit of a risk. Whenever Hollywood does an adaptation of a wildly popular novel, it can go either unbelievably fantastic or horribly, horribly wrong. But if you have ever seen Constance Wu’s work, she’s worth taking that bet.

This movie doesn’t open until this summer (August 17). So you have some time to think it over.

Half Magic: I’ve saved the best for last. Gentlemen, I have never blown smoke up your Snoopy and I don’t intend to start now. This is the best kind of rom-com. Click on the link to the trailer and watch it right now. I’ll wait.

Done? Good.

Now you see why this is the best of all worlds. Directed by our favorite rollergirl from Boogie Nights, Heather Graham, there is plenty of romantic life angst for her and plenty of sex complete with hot women like Graham herself and co-star Stephanie Beatriz getting naked for you.

The plot, direction, acting and everything else is irrelevant. It is currently playing. You’re welcome.

Until next time, gentlemen….