Gentlemen, spring is creeping and romance is about to extend its kung-fu grip upon us via warmer weather, festive gatherings and sunshine (or rain for those of us who think precipitation is sexy).  The change in season brings forth new possibilities that are often explored through these little things called, “first dates.”  Although I assume you, the reader, have had your fair share of first date experiences, it never hurts to brush up on the basics:

Bring Cheese - Call me old fashioned, but if you land a first date with a P.Y.T., you should pick up the tab for dinner (or whatever you’re doing).  A number of women are courteous and will offer to cover their share (or even all of it), but it’s important to politely refuse.  Hopefully they’ll understand that it’s more about you doing the gentlemanly thing as opposed to being a chauvinistic control-bot.  Also keep in mind, when paying the check, you should be suave and do so in a manner that keeps the total from the eyes of your dinner companion.

Your wallet shouldn’t always dictate how you date.  Let’s be real … dating can be expensive at times.  I was involved in a debate recently about the use of Groupons (or similar coupon site deals) on dates.  I’ve heard that it can make a guy look cheap, but I argued that it shows practicality.  Plus, the money you save is money that can be spent later in the evening.  Finally, you have to ask yourself if you can really picture yourself (hypothetically) with someone who’s going to bust your nuggets about saving a little money on a meal and/or drinks.

Be the Guy - This part is simple.  If you’re picking her up, you open and close her car door.  If you’re walking on a sidewalk, you walk on the side closest to the street.  If you’re on an elevator, she should enter and exit first.  When you sit at a table, don’t sit until she’s seated.  If she leaves and returns to the table, stand until she’s seated.  Be in the moment … never check your smartphone in your date’s presence!

Once in a while you’ll come across someone who actually DOESN’T like the door opening routine.  If so, don’t push it and forget what you read above.  However, the phone-checking rule stands!

Alex Hitchens Up – First dates are always compared to auditions or interviews.  Break the mold!  Ask questions you actually care about.  Engage them creatively and try to talk about things that will crack the ice or create a dialog.  Better yet, try something new.  I once took a first date to a Reds game.  Dinner and drinks are pretty standard, but you have an entire city at your feet.  Take advantage of it!

Trying to be something you’re not to impress someone is just going to catch up to you and will make you look like a chump later.  Be at your best, but don’t misrepresent.  YOU are the only person you should be and the only person you should be trying to sell.

However – I’ve gotta’ admit that none of these guidelines are original.  There will always be “rules,” but in reality, there are none.  In the end, you just have to use common sense and do what seems to work for you.  Remember that dates are experiences and not contracts.  A lot of them may not pan out, depending on what exactly you’re looking for, whether you’re a casual dater or looking for “the one.”  Either way, enjoy yourself and take things for what they are.

Have any pointers of your own?  Feel free to light up the comment section below … and good luck out there, gentlemen.

“When you’re wondering what to say, or how you look … just remember … she is already out with you.  that means, she said yes, when she could’ve said no.  That means she made a plan … when she could’ve just blown you off.  So that means it is no longer your job to make her like you … it is your job NOT TO MESS IT UP.” – Alex Hitchens (Hitch, 2005)